I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
