Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
