I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
