And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
