It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
