My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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