The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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