is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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