I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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