she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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