i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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