is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
