evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
