i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were trust falling into bushes
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