Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I need help removing her.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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