We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize