Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
