She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
