Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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