My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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