I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
