Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
