Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dicks are not precious.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
