I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
