I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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