just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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