so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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