I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
