Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
