physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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