if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
