I feel like abortions should bother me more
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
