Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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