"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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