Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
