How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
