I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
bring money and cleavage
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
