o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
