Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
