i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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