He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
