She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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