Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
