so explain again why im purple
no
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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