When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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