They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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