And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
