Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
