I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize