you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
