Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I will be naked everywhere
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
