I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
