There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
