Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
