she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
God, I missed his penis.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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