We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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