The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
