he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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