Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
