Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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