so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
