I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
