she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
what day is it and did you see me today?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
