He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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